My latest in The Huffington Posthas led to some, shall we say, interesting emails. While most of the response I have received has been overwhelmingly positive, a few folks seem to be under the impression that Algeria and the Polisario are benevolent. The truth is that tens of thousands of innocent Saharawi are trapped in the Tindouf Refugee camps. Their freedom lies just beyond the gates. Algeria and the Polisario Front insist on holding them hostage until their demands are met – nevermind the Saharawis they use as objects to barter.
Under the Autonomy plan, supported by President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton, the Saharawi could return to their homelands. By definition, having Autonomy would give them the ability to conduct a census and hold free, fair elections. Under the Polisario Front and Algeria, there is little likelihood they would feel free to CHOOSE anything.
I support freedom. Without it, without the opportunity to return to their homelands, there is nothing but continued bondage.
The sheer enormity of the African continent defies understanding. The whole of China, India, Japan, the United States and all of Europe would comfortably fit on the land mass of Africa, with room to breathe around the edges. Despite the diversity of people, culture, and history, there is no one-step easy solution for managing the multiple crises on the continent. The famine and denial of humanitarian aid across the Horn of Africa is well known, and a devastating situation. Mass atrocities, ethnic cleansing and genocide continue unabated in Sudan and South Sudan history at the hands of Omar al Bashir.
North Africa has seen refugees and revolution from Egypt to Tunisia. But, as one looks to the Western Sahara, Algeria and Morocco are deadlocked over resolution. In Algeria, protesters concerned about housing and employment have committed suicide via self-immolation. Algeria has stood firm, promised reform and yet their dirtiest little secret is leaking out. All is not well with the Saharawi refugees, or more apt, hostages. Life in Tindouf is one of despair. Algeria’s notoriously heavy hand is off the wheel, they look away as their Polisario Front handmaidens increase suffering in the refugee camps. Hostages on Algerian soil, micromanaged by the Polisario, is quickly becoming an untenable situation.
On the other side of this dispute lies Morocco, where stability is de rigeur, despite the violence and ravages of civil war that continue to rage across the continent. Morocco’s autonomy plan for the Saharawi people won a strong endorsement from the Obama Administration when Secretary of State Hillary Clinton articulated forceful support.
“For hundreds, even thousands of years, beautiful women have been held to impossible standards. Average women have too. But alone in the dark, in the comfort of our beds…next to our beloved, or alone in the quiet – real beauty can not be seen. In the darkness we are all the same. Beauty emanates from within.”
I penned those words in May 2009. The sentiment stands today. Beauty of the human soul, particularly when it shines through someone’s features creating an aesthetic beauty, must sustain itself. The ‘beautiful’ must learn to self-comfort, be the wellspring of love and light for themselves and those they love, respect. Unfair perhaps, but true. To some degree this is true for all of us. Why?
Beauty does emanate from within. Unfortunately, so does cruelty. Jealousy. Hate. Ugliness. And extreme vanity. Human history is littered with the discarded carcasses of those who lived their lives through vice. Sloth, gluttony, greed, lust… the seven deadly sins have long accommodated mankind’s penchant for self-loathing. For some, the vice is wrath, envy and pride – expressed as hate or jealousy. They craft an entire personae or career based on vitriol and tearing others down – sometimes disingenuously saying they only want to ‘extract the truth’ from whatever entity they view as an oppressor. Men. A beautiful woman. Corporations. Pick a poison.
Much like my column Beautiful, Successful and Hated, this one comes with a warning right at the outset. The impolitic discussion of character and aesthetics will certainly draw ire. To the ladies and gentlemen who read further, if you reflexively defend the Left or Right, expect to be angry. This is about culture, more than politics. This is a love letter and a Dear John letter, take away what you will. Stand for what you believe.
The most beautiful soul is one steeped in truth, fairness, forgiveness and humility. We see it in the faces of a wanted child, of parents welcoming this new soul they created in love – together. In the faces of those same children as they grow towards adulthood unafraid because love has been their constant companion. We see it in elderly couples whose lined faces and enlaced fingers reveal a lifetime spent with love,in love. We see a glimpse of it when two people finally discover each other and set aside vanity or expectation to embrace love, and fashion a new life with and through each other. The kindness of a teacher, a firefighter. The placid face of an experienced Marine Sniper, encouraging a new enlistee – giving him strength even though Death is both their companion and enemy.
What is beautiful, while subjective, is also universal. I submit where you find kindness you also find unblemished beauty.
Feminism and feminists aren’t specifically in my crosshairs today. Women like them, and so many others that came before the Sexual Revolution, transformed the professional landscape. For the suffragettes, trailblazers and the men who made the impossible possible, a debt of gratitude will never be repaid. Inspirational figures like Cleopatra or Eleanor of Acquitane are often forgotten to modern feminists. As is Anne Boleyn’s devotion to both ambition and her husband, King Henry VIII, because the “witch” and “homewrecker” stigma fluffs the pillows of those who have an axe to grind. Feminists, like fiction writer Philippa Gregory, continue to excoriate her even though Boleyn’s tenacity brought about England’s break with the Vatican, the Reformation, and a feminine icon – Queen Elizabeth I – who ruled without a man at her side for decades. No serious person, who has read extensively from contemporaneous accounts of those years, honestly believes Martin Luther’s work inspired Henry VIII to spiritual conversion to the exclusion of Anne Boleyn as a factor in the decision.
Boleyn, Helen of Troy, Scheherazade, Nefertiti are but a few names from antiquity that are precursors to modern feminism. In patriarchal societies, they charted success and continue to inspire. The Borgias were famously depraved but some women still found a way to thrive. The Hellenic era is replete with stories of power plays, beautiful versus ugly, ethics, spiritual questions. Persephone and Demeter’s complicated relationship is a prism for every mother and daughter to gaze through, if they are smart.
Some feminists who rose to prominence in the late 1960s and early 1970s, as well as their younger devotees, effect a much less altruistic streak. Reproductive choice, female competition, deriding men, and anti-tradition histrionics dominate. While many claim to want equality with men, they don’t seem to value it among their feminine counterparts.
They also bred vanity to competition, and have spent the last 40 years raising vicious, vacuous and blatant hypocrisy as their children. They embrace hyper-sexualization as ‘liberation.’ They attempt to eviscerate women of real worth, real accomplishment – particularly if they embody more traditional female archetypes – “wife” or “mother” with success. If the target happens to be beautiful, the rhetoric becomes a conflagration of pettiness and envy. I don’t believe such women exist only on the political Left. There are certainly some Right-leaning females who use sexual availability, wrapped in a wink and nod, as a weapon to destroy any other females who challenge their intellect, preparedness or mothering capability. Embracing the Kardashian model as the Left has done, or vaguely more respectable reality-TV shows like Dancing with the Stars, is really demonstrative that there is an alliance among some “feminists” (Left or Right) to hurt other, more morally stable and yes, beautiful, women.
As a woman, a lover, a friend and especially as a mother…the inauthentic, superficial, agenda-driven and wholesale embrace of negative stereotypes disgusts me. There is no need to sacrifice one’s dignity to succeed. Or maybe, that depends on your definition of success.
If success means you have as much fame, money, or as much sex as the least of men – then ding, ding, ding women like Gloria Steinem are a success. If the Hillary, “I paid my dues and now I’ve got The Honorable before my name” model makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, then goodie for you. My take: you’re damn right she paid her dues. But she didn’t have to stay with, or even be with Bill Clinton in the first place to achieve success. Hillary is brilliant and could be Secretary of State, or President, without selling her soul to Bill all those years. I am certain their affection and respect for one another is genuine but, she’s the one who chose to mock women for “standing by their man.” She did just that, and built a career on being the victim of his libido – but not the sexually satisfied wife who was there because she chose to be for the RIGHT reasons.
Consequences are a bitch.
Examples are legion. Lesser knowns are perhaps more indicative of the insidious, pervasive female competition that continues to plague our societal discourse. Someone recently forwarded an article in The Atlantic to me, Why Do Smart Men Date Less Intelligent Women?Predictably, a cursory look at the Twitter feed offered lots of opportunities to see what my fellow females were saying. Journalists were passing it along, dry and without comment. Some others were straight snark in a so what, who cares tone. But a few, none of which I will be linking to – because it’s not my style to offer traffic to someone who clearly hates other women – were spouting vituperations. It was funny, instead of attacking the intellect, most who were incensed by the article went straight for the beauty mark. Pretty women are stupid and therefore have all that extra time to primp and be hot for men. All those pretty girls are taking all the good men. With a healthy helping of “well, I’m thin and I can get all the hot guys too. But I want the smart ones.” That is an argument so insipid and nonsensical even Lewis Carroll’s Mad Hatter could not read the tea leaves.
Here’s a newsflash: if you’re that consumed with hate for other women and are angry at men for not choosing you over someone with better looks, or stronger morals, or just plain more self-confidence, then stupid women aren’t your problem. You are.
It isn’t your waist size, it is all about attitude. And discernment. There are a lot of aesthetically beautiful – and inwardly beautiful – people who find love, happiness and gratification.
Furthermore, being hateful to beautiful women you deem ‘less intelligent’ because they lack your pedigree or skill set is absurd. If a beautiful woman conducts her life in an equally vicious manner, it doesn’t matter how symmetrical her features are or how brilliant, she loses her beauty. The ugliness shines through, manifests itself just as surely as inner beauty does. Ugly is as ugly does.
There is little more beautiful than a woman, ripe with self-confidence. Perhaps only the most feminine, most sacred of tasks and roles makes us more beautiful: motherhood. The female form blooms when pregnant, particularly in a loving and committed relationship. I wrote earlier about the “wanted child.” A baby conceived in love is beautiful. To her mate, what honors him more? Nothing…between a man and woman, unconditional love comes after surviving conditional love and chemistry. It comes with time. With patience.
We cannot “have it all” at the same time. But to have it all is a worthy goal. It is a goal we can accomplish. There are many beautiful moments in our lives but alone in the dark, the most ancient and primal urges still ring in our souls. Trust me, I am not romanticizing the realities of relationships, marriage, pregnancy and child-rearing. Quite the contrary. Recognizing the magnitude of the choices and accepting the blessings is critical. Finding peace with our bodies, as perfect or imperfect, whether Titian or wraith-like, lies within the mirror we hold ourselves. Take the good when it comes, revel in it. Breathe in the warmth it provides and be not afraid. The harsh light and judgment of others awaits.
Nobody expects women to stop competing with each other, not professionally or personally. Certainly not for a mate. It is natural to pursue excellence, to preen, to want a worthy man to share a life with. To bear children by. To age with, gracefully and naturally. To laugh with. To touch and be touched by. To honor. Our wants and needs are universal. We all crave stability and acceptance. Safety.
Freedom from fear. I wonder if the competitiveness between Western women stems from boredom, in addition to a lack of self-esteem. The women of Congo look to us for help, as inspiring, free figures. They hail from a place that is arguably the most violent and dangerous place in the world. If you are a woman, rape will likely be your destiny. Obstetric fistula is something you pray to avoid. Auto-cannibalism is the norm. Grotesque wounds are a weapon. An effective weapon of psychological warfare and a tool of genocide. Atrocities are commonplace. As I read through research, I was reminded of The General’s Daughter, penned in the early 1990s by Nelson Demille. (The movie version starred Leslie Stafanson, Madeleine Stowe and John Travolta.)
An exquisitely beautiful young woman attends West Point, following in her father’s footsteps. She is brilliant, quick witted and outshines her classmates. During her sophomore year, there is a night exercise. She is separated from her squad and finds herself surrounded by a group of classmates who strip her, spread eagle her, tie her to the ground with tent pegs, put her panties around her neck, and brutally gang rape her all night long. Beaten, bruised and left to die. When dawn broke, she was discovered and transported to a hospital where she was treated for disease and pregnancy. Instead of supporting her, her father silenced her. She survived by pursuing a career in PsyOps. Psychological Operations. Before a tragic and untimely death, she tells a Warrant Officer what her profession is: “Mostly, we fuck with people’s minds.”
After her death, a rape investigator, notes the stains on the corpse’s cheeks are tears. This beautiful, promising woman was tormented by her demons. Demons that possessed her without consent. Demons that were content to stand idly by as she suffered. Yes, it’s fiction. But truth is reflected there. As women, we must be strong for ourselves and each other. For the men in our lives, for the sons and daughters – born and unborn. Strength means seeking justice, forgiveness and freedom for others and ourselves with equal fervor.
Beauty emanates from within. The beautiful within us should govern our choices, passions, our hunger for knowledge and our ambitions. The beauty of equality, of forgiveness is the honor is a second chance at life. One does not have to be young, or wealthy to find rebirth. It is a gift we give ourselves and share with those we love.
Sure, Former DNC Chairman & Businessman Terry McAuliffe has to clear the decks in the Democratic primary. Brian Moran & Creigh Deeds are grumpy Richmond-heavy fellas that don’t like the charming Mr. McAuliffe coming in and messing up their little “it’s my turn” party…. but so what? If the establishment of either party were remotely competent – Hillary or McCain would have been president right now.
So, let’s set that to the side. Look, I am a Republican. Once upon a time I was a Virginia voter… and much as I love the Fitzhugh Mafia – they best get Bob McDonnell up to speed, despite his status as sitting Attorney General - Terry McAuliffe is the happiest warrior on the Left. He’s got more mojo in his smile than all the high wattage hope-n-change message of Barack Obama. And… if Tim Kaine’s droll nature got elected… and Mark Warner can ride the “Warner” coat-tails for the better part of the last decade…. Terry McAuliffe must be taken seriously.
Condescension has its place. But so does tone. Ideas matter. Listening matters. Get McDonnell outside of the Chesapeake box – get him out of the evangelical call-center – introduce him to the rest of Virginia. You can bet Terry McAuliffe will be everywhere.
Below is his first TV ad. Not a hint of his longtime authority in the ‘establishment.’ In the interest of full disclosure – I have met both gentlemen. McDonnell in the trenches during the 2000 Campaign, and McAuliffe at The Caucus Room (the restaurant he & Haley Barbour were among original investors in) – along with then newly minted Senator George Allen, and the delightful then-Senator Fred Thompson – at a party hosted by Bill Maher… who was in town filming “Politically Incorrect” at Howard University.
McDonnell is smart, serious, accomplished – former military man, devoted husband & father. McAuliffe has been a partisan since age 22, when during the Carter campaign he wrestled an alligator for a $15,000 donation. McAuliffe has been a successful entrepreneur since age 14 when he founded a driveway maintenance business. Both are good men – I like both very much as individuals.
Consultants and camapign advisers to McDonnell have their work cut out for them. Much as I adore the Fitzhugh Mafia, they haven’t been successful since former Governor George Allen was elected to the US Senate in 2000. The same-old business as usual won’t do it this time. A quick look at the expenditure reports on VPAP reveal a lot of info – but with McAuliffe raising money hand over fist, he will soon be at parity with McDonnell. Once he clinches that nomination – it will be more than uphill for McDonnell. Not because he lacks ideas, or solid policy positions. He does. But McAuliffe may make a more persuasive case, and he isn’t hard Left – like most prominent Virginia Democrats… his positions are akin to recently retired US Senator John Warner, a Republican.
The best news for the GOP is that McDonnell is unchallenged for the GOP nomination – because McAuliffe would have walked to the Governor’s Mansion had Bolling been a real contender for the seat. Here is McAuliffe’s first television ad:
After donating money to Hillary Clinton in the primary, Donald Trump has endorsed John McCain – making it public on Larry King Live tonight on CNN. I’m not sure how many folks watched, or care. But it’s interesting in any case.
TRUMP to LK: “I know John McCain, and John McCain’s a great guy, a tremendous guy,” Trump told King. “I’ve known him for a long time. And I’m with him, and I’m with him based on the fact that I have great knowledge of John McCain. Also, this is not the right time for tax increases. And Obama wants to increase your taxes drastically.”
For the record, I don’t believe for one second that Hillary Clinton just “says stuff” – she is far too savvy a politician. She knew her words would be used later in the election season. Senator McCain is more qualified than Senator Obama. It’s simple, clear, and unequivocal. Our nation is at war. The are evil rogue players on the global stage. Congress is spending our tax dollars irresponsibly. We need and deserve a president that does not require on the job training.
John McCain is the right man, for right now, for all the right reasons.
On the heels of listening to the No We Won’t show yesterday evening on BlogTalkRadio… someone forwarded a YouTube clip to me of ousted Democratic Delegate Debbie Bartoshevich. One of 18 million Hillary Clinton voters, Bartoshevich was an activist – and had earned her spot as a Delegate to the DNC nominating convention. When she decided to support McCain instead of Obama, her fellow Democrats stripped her of her seat.
Now there is boiling buzz about placing Hillary’s name into nomination on the floor in Denver. Mrs. Clinton has yet to formally release her delegates, and so – the battle in the Democratic trenches wages on.
Finally, the “long national nightmare” is at an end. I am SO ready for McCain v. Obama.
Hillary Clinton, via campaign email, sent the following message out to her supporters:
Dear Friend,
I wanted you to be one of the first to know: on Saturday, I will hold an event in Washington D.C. to thank everyone who has supported my campaign. Over the course of the last 16 months, I have been privileged and touched to witness the incredible dedication and sacrifice of so many people working for our campaign. Every minute you put into helping us win, every dollar you gave to keep up the fight meant more to me than I can ever possibly tell you.
On Saturday, I will extend my congratulations to Senator Obama and my support for his candidacy. This has been a long and hard-fought campaign, but as I have always said, my differences with Senator Obama are small compared to the differences we have with Senator McCain and the Republicans.
I have said throughout the campaign that I would strongly support Senator Obama if he were the Democratic Party’s nominee, and I intend to deliver on that promise.
When I decided to run for president, I knew exactly why I was getting into this race: to work hard every day for the millions of Americans who need a voice in the White House.
I made you — and everyone who supported me — a promise: to stand up for our shared values and to never back down. I’m going to keep that promise today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life.
I will be speaking on Saturday about how together we can rally the party behind Senator Obama. The stakes are too high and the task before us too important to do otherwise.
I know as I continue my lifelong work for a stronger America and a better world, I will turn to you for the support, the strength, and the commitment that you have shown me in the past 16 months. And I will always keep faith with the issues and causes that are important to you.
In the past few days, you have shown that support once again with hundreds of thousands of messages to the campaign, and again, I am touched by your thoughtfulness and kindness.
I can never possibly express my gratitude, so let me say simply, thank you.
