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Cimbalo, hate fuck, hate sex, kurtz, rape, rape fantasies, rape fantasy
Feminine mystique. For some, it is a fairy tale. For others… it is a way of life. Some have no understanding at all what it actually is. Elusive are the women who possess it, and all too common are the women who don’t.
A Playboy “bunny” or “playmate” is not mysterious. Common as a waste receptacle. No empowerment. No equality. Nothing intimate. Just a simple quid pro quo:
The “Object” (that is my assessment of what a Bunny or Playmate has chosen to be) exchanges fantasy for cash. Because bodily fluids are not directly exchanged, it is not prostitution.
Flesh is not the problem here. Intent is. Consenting adults have all manner of sex, all the time. That is fine. We all have our own ideas about sex, sexuality, morality, fidelity, purity, virginity, promiscuity, depravity and many other facets of a healthy – or unhealthy – sex life.
I have no issue with art. Who can argue that Helmut Lange, Steven Meisel, Annie Leibovitz or Mario Testino have not created some truly beautiful nude images? They have. Portrayal of the human body can be iconic. As I noted recently in my column Beautiful, Successful and Hated:
Our culture makes many assumptions about beautiful girls and women. Some wars are not meant to be waged, yet women do this to each other every day.
A (naturally) symmetric face, dewy skin, full lips, and a decent metabolism is not a choice. Nor is it a personal and individual attack on ugly people. It is genetic. It is possible to be a spectacular looking woman and be a good person. What constitutes beauty differs from person to person. Simple beauty, exotic beauty, classic beauty, and timeless beauty all exist. Many of these beautiful women also possess above average intellect. Strong work ethic. They maintain high moral standards. And are lovers, mothers, friends, sisters, daughters, aunts, nieces, wives that happen to be wonderful beings as well.
Aphrodite. Nefertiti. Helen of Troy. Cleopatra. Botticelli’s beauties. Titian’s startlingly self-possessed and sexually aware Venus of Urbino. Iconic women with iconic faces. Their lives were rich and enduring. Helen, wife of Menelaus, and lover to Paris… thousands of years later her face, “the face that launched one thousand ships” continues to fascinate and bewitch us.
Beauty comes from the content of our character as well. Think of the woman you know with the laugh or smile that warms up a room. Or the woman with a smile that casts incandescent light on every face around her. Remember the mom at soccer, cross country or football? The lovely mommy toting snacks and drinks, who effortlessly generates a positive energy – boosting team spirit. She is not Halle Berry or Cindy Crawford but she is just as beautiful.
The “sisterhood” rarely functions flawlessly for every young girl, every woman, every day. What we give to each other is wisdom. Personal responsibility. Accountability. Self-worth.
As of this writing, the National Organization for Women has not issued a statement condemning the article “So Right, it’s Wrong” (see NSFW screen shots HERE, h/t Caleb Howe) that was abruptly deleted from the Playboy website – after many Republican and Conservative folks went ballistic.
From my column earlier this week, I summed up my take on Playboy thus:
1. I read the article written by Cimbalo before it was taken down by Playboy.
2. None of those women were likely to consent to being “hate f$#ked” – and yet he persisted.
3. Translation: if a woman does not giver her consent – the act is, by definition, RAPE.
4. It is not satire. Nor comic. It is a degradation of women, pure and simple.
5. Ask a rape victim her opinion. I have. She agreed with me.
6. No woman “deserves” to be “hate f$#ked” / raped. Ever.
7. None of these women “asked” for it. And of Mr. Cimbalo, I am sure no real woman ever will.
Then, one of my favorite writers, Tommy Christopher blew me away. It was not unexpected – he is the most intellectually honest Liberal man I have ever meant. He loves women. But not in a one-note way. He really does love us. He knows we are about more than the contents of our uterus, or what choices we make with regard to those contents.
He wrote, Playboy Magazine Officially Hates Women, Conservative or Otherwise. Then, Playboy Violates Bro Code with Hate F**k List. And because Politico was stupid enough to post the list without READING the totality of it first, Tommy laid the hammer down when: Politico Takes Down Light Touch Version of Playboy Hate F*** List. Being a gentleman, and true hipster, he decided to celebrate political differences and great debate with a list of his own: Top Ten Conservative Women I Love to Love. As this week continued to be driven by defining “hate f***” and what does and does not constitute rape, or consent… Twitter became a united, driving force. Tommy captured the whole movement in Twitter Community Defeats Playboy Hate List.
Christopher understands something every good man does: women are different than men. And that is a good thing. We agree on some things, not so much on others. But I have always found him to be fair, witty, and insightful. I love the guy.
Yesterday, he was fired. Fired by AOL’s Politics Daily because (in my estimation) he is simply more highly evolved than his editors at AOL, which is owned by TimeWarner – a company that has a massive distribution deal with Playboy.
Therein lies the rub. Guy Cimbalo who penned a column that advocates Rape fantasies at minimum… and incites thoughts of violent, nonconsensual sex on the face of his column… and at worst, provides permission to the crazy misogynistic bastard who will identify a virtuous woman and rape her. This is the man the corporate geniuses at AOL, Playboy, and TimeWarner are defending.
But Tommy Christopher – a committed liberal – stood for the things we ladies most revere: truth, respect, equality and fairness.
Around the print media and blogosphere, I found a few nuggets:
Mark Tapscott, Editorial Page Editor of the DC Examiner displays exception acumen in his article Is American Politics Becoming a Hate Sport? And, I am very, very grateful for his mention of my take:
Media Lizzy described the Playboy post as a manifestation of an “inner rapist,” and it is difficult to see much in the way of meaningful distrinctions between rape and a sexual act whose initiator himself links it with hate and in terms that fall just short of violence and against women because of their political views. To be sure, rape as a political weapon is not a new thing, nor is it uniquely associated with a particular portion of the ideological spectrum.
Howard Kurtz of The Washington Post said this:
I quoted a post the other day from Tommy Christopher of AOL’s Politics Daily. He rightly ripped Playboy for putting up a graphic piece about the author’s desire to have hateful sex with 10 conservative women. After that, says the conservative Newsbusters, AOL deleted the piece, fired Christopher and refused any further mention of the article (which Playboy took down by day’s end). Christopher says AOL claimed to have yanked the piece because it was too profane. No explanation so far for the firing.
Meanwhile, the same Playboy author, Guy Cimbalo, uses the B-word in attacking Michelle Malkin and says she has “mental problems.” And to think I once told people I read it for the articles.
The entire series of events was described aptly by Newsbusters’ Stephen Gutowski:
The evidence is stacking up quite high that AOL News fired liberal writer Tommy Christopher today due to his repeated attempts to get coverage of the Playboy attack list on AOL’s Politics Daily. Christopher had first attempted to post this criticism of Playboy’s sick list the day it was published on their website. However, he was surprised to find that shortly after putting his article on Politics Daily it was deleted by an editor.
His surprise stemmed from the fact that in his two years of writing for the site not one other post had ever been deleted by an editor.
This issue won’t go away. Not with a boycott. Not with canceled subscriptions to Playboy, or AOL.
There are moral absolutes. Guy Cimbalo and his ilk are free to choose how they live, write, and speak. Free to behave immorally. But that does not mean the behavior is acceptable. Or moral. It is not.
Until rape – or “hate sex” – are decried, in a real way, across the board by Establishment Democrats… they do not get to claim the high ground. From Rwanda to Darfur, on rape and Female Genital Mutilation, Democrats have done little more than pay lip service to the most heinous of crimes. They can keep their righteous indignation. They must turn to voices, in their own camp, like Tommy Christopher – and be honest with themselves about the seriousness of speech as a gateway to action.
UPDATE: Tommy Christopher goes on the record about AOL, read it HERE
—Media Lizzy
Aphrodite. Nefertiti. Helen of Troy. Cleopatra. Botticelli’s beauties. Titian’s startlingly self-possessed and sexually aware Venus of Urbino. Iconic women with iconic faces. Their lives were rich and enduring. Helen, wife of Menelaus, and lover to Paris… thousands of years later her face, “the face that launched one thousand ships” continues to fascinate and bewitch us.
Excellent analysis!
Sometimes freedom really is just another word for nothing left to lose.
I am one conservative who understands there are moral absolutes, and that on issues such as this, there isn’t a liberal, conservative, Democrat or Republican “take”…there is only right or wrong.
Tommy Christopher was wronged, sure. But it was everyone really, wasn’t it?
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If I may be so sexist and hirsute as to say that you have a captivating picture that evinces a certain Mona Lisa-esque quality about it. And your take on issues is not bad either.
Had never read your blog before today, but I might be head-over-heels.
Into the favorites folder you go.
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Lizzy writes:
“From Rwanda to Darfur, on rape and Female Genital Mutilation, Democrats have done little more than pay lip service to the most heinous of crimes. They can keep their righteous indignation.”
It’s this type of empty and thoughtless rhetorical drivel that keeps both Left and Right at each other’s throat. Your statement is neither honest nor accurate. There are a shitload of liberals in Darfur and the Congo as I write this. Liberals who put their lives on the line simply by being in those types of places. Where are the conservatives? Look in your mirror for that answer.
AOL, by the way, has become a bastion of conservative thought (cough). Whenever political articles allow comments, the pro-right puts up 80% of them. Yes, I often count and do the math. I’ve long been surprised that AOL allowed Christopher to do anything. Fact is, I’d rather read the comments on the PalinSucks blog than in reading any comments on any AOL content pages.
I’ve gone to several events at which African women subjected to crude sexual surgeries spoke. I am aware of at least 3 such women who now live in the US. Guess who host them? That’s right… families who self-identify as liberal. Where are the conservatives on this front? Oh, that’s right. They are too busy complaining about how the liberals never do anything. How about you walk the talk instead of just mouthing it? Let’s see you put in a few months in places like the Congo or western Kenya or any place in Uganda or the Sudan.
Then come back and tell us how you saw no liberals in those places.
Keep on keeping on, Lizzy….sauer kraut seems like what he claims to be….a cabbage head. ;-)
–Tom
Well… my list of conservatives & right wingers doing spectacular work in Africa is long, long, long.
But, I’ll keep it short.
First, former Ambassador at Large for the Office of War Crimes Pierre Prosper – a dear friend of mine – was the ICC Rwanda prosecutor that won the conviction against Jean-Paul Akayesu that, declared Rape a 1)Crime Against Humanity and 2) A Genocide under the 1948 Genocide Convention. He has lived a life dedicated to resolving the ongoing issues throughout Africa. Not just Rwanda. There was a price on his head from the Khartoum regime that made it nearly impossible for him to make repeated visits to the Sudan.
Second…. there is Ayaan Hirsi Ali. A conservative woman, herself a victim of FGM – and no better spokesperson for women’s rights, equality.
Read her piece today: http://www.newmajority.com/ShowScroll.aspx?ID=f3cd4ff8-d178-4044-ad6b-661d3c5199c3
Not to mention Rick Santorum, Bill Frist, and many many others. Do your homework.
And lest we forget…. former President George W. Bush did more for the continent and people of Africa than ANY other president. Beginning with his commitment to the Millennium Challenge Goals. (where Condi Rice sat on the Board) Then, there is PEPFAR.
When George W Bush took office, barely 50,000 people were getting anti-retro viral medication for HIV/AIDS. When he left office – more than TWO MILLION were.
Former FLOTUS Laura Bush hosted the first Malaria Awareness Day, with Malaria No More. YEARS before Ashton Kutcher discovered and tweeted his way to a million followers on Twitter.
Look at W’s farewell trip to Africa — the people, common people, lined the countryside to show their support.
Food Aid substantially increased to Africa on W’s watch.
Before you come here and talk about who does, or does not, do real work in Africa…. do some damn research.
As for me, I have not been to Africa. But I have worked tirelessly nonetheless. You don’t know a damn thing about what I’ve done — and I have nothing to explain to you.
For starters… read this: https://medializzy.wordpress.com/2008/11/20/i-am-a-republican-i-support-africa-not-the-starvation-of-hope/
Or just use the search box on this blog – look for Africa, Darfur, FGM, female genital mutilation, oppression and any other keywords you can think of.
—Lizzy
This is an excellent article. Thanks for standing up for Conservative women because it seems that no one else will do the same. I think that Tommy Christopher was wronged and he deserves to be hired by someone who will appreciate his talent as a good journalist who is not just a political hack. 9
And sauer kraut, read these too:
https://medializzy.wordpress.com/2008/02/27/bushs-legacy-in-africa/
my take on the Genocide Olympics is here:
https://medializzy.wordpress.com/2008/08/03/the-genocide-olympics-and-obamas-olympic-size-ego/
Plus… I take on BOTH parties when its necessary:
https://medializzy.wordpress.com/2006/11/21/darfur/
There is soooo much more. But for now – that’s all.
sauer kraut-
Ayaan Hirsi Ali has for years pleaded with the liberal establishment of Europe and America to present a united front to combat FGM, to little avail. In fact, there are high profile liberal feminists have refused to condemn rape in Darfur.
The only ’empty and thoughtless rhetorical drivel’ is coming from you.
The vast majority of aid to Africa is now religiously based. Why? Because there is no political upside at home for the left. The left have been out of Africa in a meaningful way for decades. That isn’t to say that there aren’t liberals (and they a lot different from leftists) there at all, but when all is said and done, the focus of leftist outrage is on Israel, Jews and America.
That ought not come as a surprise. Real murderous tyrants with real blood on their hands have long been idealized and idolized by the American left, from Che to Castro to Stalin to Robert Mugabe to Arafat and Ahmadenijad. Arab world antisemitism is not only ignored, but celebrated as well.
By the way, you do know that you are on the wrong side of history, right? Can you name a single example of a successful leftist state that did not fail? Can you name a leftist state that did not employ repression, oppression and tyranny? Can you name a state that abandoned leftist ideals that willingly went back to failed leftist regimes?Can you name a single leftist ideology that is not a failed ideology?
You noted in an earlier comment that you were not happy with the last 8 years and therefore Cimbalo’s comments were somehow understandable. Allow me to reiterate what I noted:
“You aren’t happy with the morals of the last 8 years? That makes rape OK? Or is it only conservative women that are fair game? Are conservative black women fair game for a hate ****? Are Muslim women who are against abortion and gay rights fair game for a good hate ****ing as well? Of course, we can’t leave out the Jews- do they have to be conservative or will any Jew do?”
Let me go one further. I abhor the institutionalized hate of the Arab world. I hate the Palestinian media, school curricula and pulpit preachers who spew their vile hate.
There ought to be a movement to have lists of women bloggers and prominent leftists who need to hate****** for their support of decades of racism and bigotry (funny stuff, don’t you think!!)
Hell, let’s be open minded- how about a list of prominent leftist male bloggers and men who need to be hate******? (PRETTY HYSTERICAL!!)
You come in here and lecture everyone- how about we put you at the top of the list? I mean, you’re pretty important, right, clearly the number one idiot! Does your sister have a blog? I’d bet you’d love to see her on that list! (IS THAT FUNNY OR WHAT!!! ) With your big mouth, I bet you could take on the Dallas Cowboys offensive and defensive teams!! (I’LL BET YOU’RE LAUGHING AS HARD AS I AM!!)
wow, lizzy, i would fuck you in a second, and there wouldn’t be an ownce of hate involved
wow. No more to say.
Rick Santorum?? Puhleeze… he’s more interested in keeping women in the kitchen than he is in doing anything meaningful. Which is why the No. 3 man in the US Senate lost his job to Bob Casey. Santorum isn’t even the most powerful man in pennsyltucky, let alone anywhere else. You lose all credibility (along with the “dear freidn of mine demi-retort) when you list him. btw – did he ever pay his taxes on that house in which he supposedly resided near Pittsburgh?
And W’s farewell trip… are you sure they weren’t gawking at a bad accident? Kudo’s to his old man on his post-presidency works… too bad his time as president wasn’t nearly as productive.
fungus… sorry I don’t get my panties bunched up… well, no. I’m not sorry. Life is too short to be filled with the hate you clearly harbor for just about everything.
Great analysis – I have talked about this with some of my lady friends and they were taken back by the subject matter of the article. I think it’s somewhat sick and as you put it – without consent it is by definition rape. I think the author may have some serious issues because he does not recognize the logic in that thought.
I have never been a buyer of Playboy although I heard the articles were “good”, excluding this article of course, but I will never purchase a magazine for any reason now or in the future.
Sauer kraut-
You really do have a sense for humor! I LMAO when you made the lame attempt to ‘pivot and attack’. That is just so yesterday!
I understand you don’t want to respond to my remarks (let’s face it- you can’t) but when you made reference to Santorum and taxes, I had to laugh again!
Talking about Santorum’s tax issues as compared to the tax cheats Obama wanted to bring into the cabinet is hysterical! I realize you want to paint Republicans as immoral but if I were you I wouldn’t go there. While there are SOB’s on both sides of the aisle, without a doubt the biggest cheats and lowlifes have been the Democrats.
You have a habit of saying a whole lot of nothing.
You are truly the embodiment of the useful idiot- and you are precisely why the country is in need of a school voucher program.
Those moms in DC know what they are talking about.
fungus – some things just aren’t worth responding to… yanno, it’s that “whole lot of nothing” which you bring to the table. feel free to be the idiot who has to have the last word on that.
MLizzy, your musing on beautiful women is asinine, to put it bluntly. It reads as if you’re trying to convince yourself or rather talking about yourself.
Beauty and goodness are often equated as one in the same. No one is rallying against beautiful women, just the opposite is true. Of course many beautiful women are good and intelligent and outstanding people, but one need only glimpse the entertainment industry and witness the scores of beautiful trainwrecks of self-absorbed women. Being born beautiful doesn’t make one good, just as being born ugly doesn’t make one evil. Possessing a good heart and a good mind are qualities that are developed over time despite one’s physical appearance.
Your comparing of Michelle Obama and Carla Bruni is nonsensical. You might as well compare Angela Merkel or any other female politic. It’s intellectually apples and oranges. Their life experiences are completely different. Bruni is beautiful, but she’s not brilliant. Globetrotting and free sex doesn’t MAKE a women. At the end of the day, at the end of life we’ll be judged by the content of our character, not how many beauty pagents we won.
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Lizzy,
I must add that you’re mistaken to think that the term “hate fuck” is just an euphemism for “rape”. It’s not. There’s probably no official definition, but at least whenever I previously encountered the term it was in a context where it implicitly meant “people having sex who find themselves personally loathsome”, i.e., mutual, not forced.
It still leaves the Playboy article in poor taste I’d say, but simply dismissing it as a rape fantasy is a distortion.
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